Selected Writing
01. Non-Fiction 02. Books 03. Flowers Fall 04. Interviews 05. Poetry
NON-fiction
Can Attachment Theory Explains All of Our Relationships?
NEW YORK MAGAZINE
The most important parenting you’ll ever do happens before your child turns one — and may affect her for the rest of her life. One mother’s journey through the science of attachment.
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We Started the Crusade for Affirmative Consent Way Back in the ’90s
NEW YORK MAGAZINE
When the Womyn of Antioch introduced the concept we were mocked on Saturday Night Live. What changed for Columbia’s Mattress Girl?
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The Kind of Mother I’d Be
NEW YORK MAGAZINE
Beginning a journey into the science of attachment.
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My essay Food of the Gods (with a Recipe for Mystical Gravy) appears in
THE CASSOULET SAVED OUR MARRIAGE: True Tales of Food, Family, and How We Learned to Eat
Shambala Books, edited by Caroline Grant and Lisa Catherine Harper (2013)
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Coupling
OHIO EDIT
A prose piece about summer (among other things).
Simplify Your Life without Making it Complicated
PARENTS MAGAZINE
It’s not as hard as it seems.
Hot and Bothered About Beauty
THE WEEKLINGS
Rehab the Addiction to Beauty-Porn.
Lessons From a Zen Mommy
PARENTS MAGAZINE
Who knew all my time in a monastery would lead to this?!
Some Personal Reflections on the Most Recent Zen Teacher Sex Scandal
THE WEEKLINGS
An Essay about Daido, Among other Things.
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One Place at Once
LION’S ROAR
Why options are overrated.
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The Temptation of Belief
KILLING THE BUDDHA
“That night as I lay in bed, hands on my hard, round belly, my mind filled with the faces of all the believers I had met and seen, I tried, really tried to pray.”
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A Jealous Buddhist in God’s Orange County
GEEZ MAGAZINE
“Pretty much everyone I talked to found it odd that I would leave my life, 7 months pregnant, to waddle around a a palm-tree land of strip-malls and megachurches interviewing Christians.”
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Books
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Strange Situation A Mother's Journey Into the Science of Attachment
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FLOWERS FALL
Finding Ourselves in the History of Expert Advice – What We Didn’t Used to Think About
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
Taking another look at our obsession with parenting.
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An Interview with Andrew Solomon – the Heartbreaking Realization of Parental Love
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
The first episode of my new life as an impersonal essayist.
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A Big Change
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
Saying good-bye to a transitional object.
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Did you Want to Have a Kid? And Other Impossible Questions
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
How to Live with the Truth.
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Non-Duality for President
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
Can’t Zen and Feminism Just Get Along?
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The Way of the Bodhisattva: Really?
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
Some Thoughts on Offering.
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The Human Way
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
Finding my Seat as a Human Parent.
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Looking at Humans is Fun: An interview with Anthony Graesch
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
Life at Home, according to science.
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Dealing with Feelings on the Last Day of School
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
Bypass this!
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A Strange Kind of Hope at the Dawn of Father’s Day
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
A hopeful message from the primates
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Right Effort
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
Daido chides me from beyond.
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Is This My Chair?
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
Looking for a place to land. And finding it.
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The Treasure So Precious, There’s No Word for It:
A Conversation with Amy Chua on the Intimate Practice of Tiger Parenting
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
The Tiger Mother purrs.
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A Descent into the Dream World: Andre Dubus III on Fatherhood, Karma and Creativity
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
Not Exactly Treasured, but Loved.
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She and I
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
We’re the same thing, but I am not her, and she is not me.
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Minding Our Business
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
Can talking about Buddhism really help anyone?
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Letting Go
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
Getting in touch with some of the basics.
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Taking the Attachment Parenting Challenge: A Week in Italy, Part 2
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
We went, we returned, let’s process.
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Taking the Attachment Parenting Challenge: A Week in Italy, Part 1
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
1,2,3…let’s go!
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Are You Happy? Considering the Lobster Within
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
A tribute to David Foster Wallace
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Mirror Mirror: A Generation of Godless Girls
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
Sinking into the Body.
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It’s A Beautiful World: Kim John Payne on Simplicity Parenting
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
Simplicity is even simpler than I thought.
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Something Good
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
The Sound of Music Darma
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Ding, Ding! The Middle Way Wins Again
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
Taking on Amy Chua and Zen Momma.
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It’s Winter Now
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
Looking at the past with a fresh eye. Again!
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Those Who Came Before
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
Reflecting on my Female Ancestors
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The Bad News
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
Impermanence Revisited
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Will What’s Real About Childhood Please Stand Up?
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
Getting my bearings in the conditioned world.
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Why Mindful Parenting Won’t Keep You Up All Night: A Conversation with Jon Kabat Zinn
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
Mindfulness! What a concept.
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Why Have Kids?
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
Happiness, Schnappiness!
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Spring: A Love Poem for Azalea
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
From my month as an artist-in-residence at Byrdcliffe Artist Colony…
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The Truth: It’s Dizzying
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
What Andre Agassi and kindergarten have in common.
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A Woman’s Life
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
Reflecting on life in this body.
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Touching the Depths: An Interview with Acharya, Judith Simmer Brown, on Motherhood and Practice, Part 2
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
The Tibetan view of karma and reincarnation, among other things.
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Touching the Depths: An interview with Judith Simmer Brown, Part 1
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
One Buddhist mom to another.
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My New Year’s Resolution: Putting My Kid First
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
What I learned from shape-shifting at Adam’s.
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The December Dilemma
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
Jew-Bu reflections on the holiday season.
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Oh My Goddess! A Dispatch From Planet Princess
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
Is it so wrong to be disgruntled with Disney?
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Inexhaustible
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
For my teacher.
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A Mean Animal Practices the Hard Way
LION’S ROAR
When help is so, totally not on the way.
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A Dream
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
The so-called reality of love and terror.
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Thirsty: Wading Through the Intoxicating Waters of Being Bad
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
Why being bad has never looked so good.
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The Slow Parent Trap
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
How slow can you go?
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Picking and Choosing: Mindful Eating for Kids and Families, Part 2
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
What I learned from the experts.
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Picking and Choosing: Mindful Eating for Kids and Families, Part 1
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
Talking to experts about feeding a picky eater.
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Ego, Interrupted
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
Who’s more of a nobody? A bodhisattva or her mom?
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No, Get Mom
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
Taking a look at the past and what it all means: nothing?
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Love is in the Air: Let’s Play Parenting Trivia
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
It’s a quiz!
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Happy New Year
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
New Year’s reflections on domestic bliss and impermanence.
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A Detatched Look at Attachment Parenting
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
A look at the history of “attachment parenting” and how the Buddhist practice of non-attachment can help us become truly attached.
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Primordial Mirror
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
“As someone who is not always crazy about what she sees in the mirror, it can be brutal to see myself parading around in the body of a two-year old.”
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The Incredible, Disappearing Drama
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
“When I gave birth to Azalea, I was very soon struck by how much I could love a person – so truly, so sincerely, so totally – and yet still struggle to manifest that love.”
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interviews
The Temple of Reason: Sam Harris on How Religion Puts the World at Risk
THE SUN
Sam Harris is a brave man. in a country where 90 percent of adults say they believe in God, he has written a bestseller condemning religion.
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An Interview with Andrew Solomon – the Heartbreaking Realization of Parental Love
Extended version of the interview that first appeared in
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Field notes: Explorations Into Family Life
The Treasure So Precious, There’s No Word for It: A Conversation with Amy Chua on the Intimate Practice of Tiger Parenting
Extended version of the interview that first appeared in CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
The Tiger Mother purrs.
A Descent into the Dream World: Andre Dubus III on Fatherhood, Karma and Creativity
Extended version of the interview that first appeared in
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
Not Exactly Treasured, but Loved.
Why Mindful Parenting Won’t Keep You Up All Night: A Conversation with Jon Kabat Zinn
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
Mindfulness! What a concept.
Touching the Depths: An Interview with Acharya, Judith Simmer Brown, on Motherhood and Practice, Part 2
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
The Tibetan view of karma and reincarnation, among other things.
Touching the Depths: An interview with Judith Simmer Brown, Part 1
CHRONOGRAM MAGAZINE – Flowers Fall: Field Notes from a Buddhist Mom’s Experimental Life
One Buddhist mom to another.
Moral Combat: Chris hedges on War, Faith, and Fundamentalism
THE SUN
This Pulitzer-prize winning journalist talks about his attempt to be a truly good person in a very complicated moral universe.
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Groundhog Universe: Robert Thurman on Conversion, Delusion, and the Buddhaland
MOUNTAIN RECORD: THE ZEN PRACTITIONER’S JOURNAL
What if the Dharma were on TV? “It would look like The Matrix with less shooting,” says Professor Thurman.
Endless Lifetimes, Endless Benefit
BUDDHADHARMA
The woman best known for meditating in a cave for 12 years on the meaning of life, and the next one, too.
My poems have appeared in national journals such as Witness, Nimrod, New York Quarterly, Spoon River, and many more. Please enjoy a few from my collection:
The Life We Chose and the One We Didn’t
This morning I looked out on our small lawn
and saw the deck, covered in a blanket of leaves,
Azalea’s plastic kitchen moldy, its sink overflowing
with twig, rain soup. And the garden beds the two of you built
some weekend I was away, sit quietly in what was then the sunniest spot,
and is now gray and misty. The mountain hasn’t moved,
rising as it always has, just outside of these rooms,
browning our valley with the ordinary impermanence of fall.
This is the life we have chosen: a marriage, a place, a million meals,
reaching for each other, another person living in our house.
A mess. Darkness tucked inside of darkness.
Light made invisible by light.
Quietly
as if there is any other way
to listen. But with the radio
broken, the little house
of my car mirrors the pitch
of soundlessness I hear all the time,
that crunch of wheels over snow,
driving up a hill, pines
edging the road, as I call
to the ones in the houses
I pass, the ones I wonder
about all the time. What
do you hear? Me?
Giving Birth to Dead Things
Like this morning, and how you traced the smell,
then opened up the basement wall
just enough to hold a mirror on the blind side of it,
and shine a light in the right direction
to reflect what was lying there
in the dirt of the crawlspace,
that dark, silent edge,
that any body moves through and against, dark to itself,
yet reaching toward some scent of illumination,
colliding with whatever it is that maintains mass
as something separate from dreams—
the fog that fills the space otherwise
too putrid to bear. And through the hole you made,
your gloved hand pulled the body out
by the tail. You passed me the light, and I held it
along the bloated trunk, grey fur, little masked face, delicate hands, clawed thumbs
the whole of its way-seeking life, decayed and yet complete, the hollow thud of impact
as you slid it onto the plastic tarp, then covered it.